bottom feeding with boris

it is my pleasure to introduce my friend boris the rushan, he is a genetically enhanced chess/piano/poker prodigy straight from the motherland, also he is rumored to have connections with the mafia so you better not cross paths with him,

he has graciously written the first installment of springwells's clairvoyant.criticism articles, which will provide clairvoyant criticism on high society such as arts, culture, literature, etc,

with that i present this article,

bottom feeding with boris

this week i reviewed the Krusty Krab restaurant, the local burger joint that's second to none. or should i say second to "run" since this critic wanted to make like a banana and peel out the minute he saw how drab this Krab really was

Q: that bad, huh?

once i stuck my beak through that door, my appetite flew south for the winter. i mean, i'm not "kidding" when i say this restaurant smells like the rear-end of a goat.

Q: and how was the service, boris?

you could find livelier help in a graveyard and I'm not just "coffin." the management stunk so bad, I had to get my sweater dry cleaned on the way home with me in it.

however, at the end of my visit, i chowed down on a meal that titillated my taste buds and gratified my gullet. that sponge behind the grill is no square when it comes to cooking! if Krabs really wanted to soak up the dough, he's sponge it up. he'd sponge it out, he'd over-sponge it. you can never have too much sponge.