are you serious

wow. fuck me.

do you know what this is? this is the Amzer® Bicycle Handlebar Mount For Motorola Droid A855, i'm not kidding,

the person who designed this piece of shit is going straight into the deepest circle of hell, that's past the murderers, rapists, and gays

oh, and it's not like the people who approved or marketed this are getting off the hook, they're every bit as responsible for acting as enablers - catalysts - for this utter catastrophe, it's as if they saw a baby drowning in a pool or some shit and instead of deciding to save him they just kicked him around and left him to suffer, they had the opportunity to bring something atrocious to a full stop before it reached its full terrible potential, but they greenlighted it instead

do you realize just exactly how fucking awful this is. this is worse than the businessbros who have a bluetooth piece chillin in their ear all day, oh man i am soooo important i gotta be able to take phone calls at all times even when my hands are both occupied (one signing my own paycheck, the other furiously "stimulating" my boss's penis)

this thing is worse, way worse. this belongs to the goddamn garbage bag who rides a bicycle to work every day, he rolls into the office and takes off his helmet and you ask jokingly "what's with the bike dude" and then he freezes, sternly looks you in the eye, and with a voice dripping with condescension whose thickness is only matched by the slime coursing through his veins, says, 100% non-ironically, "i'm helping the earth. it's important. how are you helping?"

i guess helping the earth is not quite as important as being able to check your messages while you're biking to work, shitbag. just make sure you're not answering an email as you cycle across the highway, you might get run over and land the noble hero who collided with you into a big legal mess

i mean, i'm cool with biker bros, but, some peeps just take it too far,