semiotic paradoxes

the human mind is foolish. it can be tricked, duped, deceived, manipulated, and bent against its will. really if humans weren't such dumb fucks we wouldn't be constantly plagued by such problems as wars, oil spills, and shitty music wow that would be so nice

the element that is primarily responsible for the inadequacy of the mind is a sense of intuition that is hard to override. back when we were hunter gatherers we didn't need to think much really. just get yr fruit and kill yr boars and find a nice cave to sleep in and fuck a cave chick once in a while to make kids. no need to check yr hair in the morning or pay taxes or study for that exam or finish that project yr boss assigned months ago. no need to think, in fact the more you relied on your intuition, your 'autopilot' the better off you would probably be, if you see a berry that you think is like poisonous you just walk away from that shit. no need to set up control groups and longitudinal analyses to conclusively determine the effect of the active chemical in the berries on the human endocrine system. as soon as you let your curiosity get ahead of you your ass is in danger. so naturally 'evolution' rewarded the peeps who just acted on instinct and didn't think things entirely thru

the end result is that we are very easy to fool, and there are thousands of paradoxes existing everywhere around us.

for instance a few weeks ago i was riding in my friend sidi's car and i saw a cluck u chicken menu chillin on the ground (cluck u is a chicken joint,) i have never eaten there but i guess he has. anyway the 'mascot' of cluck u is a chicken bro with one of those athletic shirts (are they called jerseys i have no idea) i think the point is that he goes to 'cluck university' here is a picture



initially you think, oh there is nothing semiotically dissonant about this arrangement of symbols. since this place serves fried chicken it makes sense that their mascot should be an anthropomorphic chicken (note the human-like eyes and eyebrows as well as the fingers on the ends of the wings) but upon closer examination that makes no sense why would a chicken bro want to represent an establishment that kills hella amounts of chickens and treats them brutally and awfully so a bunch of self-serving pieces of shit that epitomize exhaustively the set of negative american characteristics can satiate their primitive desires for incredibly unhealthy food. they are furnaces that must be fed. fat fucking furnaces at that

poor chicken mascot bro. imagine a day in this dude's life. he pretends to chill around cluck university to attract potential students/victims. he's also probably a professor there teaching classes to the chicken student bros about how to become fattened up (so they will unbeknownst to them be better candidates for slaughter) and then every once in a while has to pose for a camera with a smile for promotional material

he may be smiling in all the photos you see of him but inside he is harboring anguish, how do you think this guy sleeps at night, if he sleeps at all then he wakes up every morning with dried tears on his pillow

also czech this shit out



that's the ben & jerry's cow in case you didn't recognize it

do you really think that cow is thanking you? do you really think it's fucking glad that you are buying ice cream from ben & jerry's?

you know how it takes like an entire fucking forest to make 1 piece of paper? it's the same with milk and ice cream. hella liters of milk go into each 'lovingly' crafted cone of ice cream. well you know what? what if that cow wanted to start a family. imagine this fucking cow. going to the store to get a crib and a little mobile to hang over it and some cute as fuck stuffed animals. we're not done yet, this cow is going fucking all-out. she's buying that goddamned baby einstein shit. and thousands of boxes of diapers, made of organic cloth and tenderness. so this cow is all ready to have its kid and be the best mother ever right? and all of a sudden a ben & jerry's agent goes up to her and is like "yo what do you think you're doing storing up all that milk for your kid. we need that to make ice creams. do you even know how much milk you need to make an ice cream? hella milk so we need all the milk we can get. hand over the goods fatty."

no other cow on the farm can sleep that night as wails of sadness pierce the dark sky

and the next morning it has to thank people buying b&j's ice cream

and

at first glance it seemed perfectly normal and ok

for the cow to be thanking you

and for the chicken to be smiling